Sometimes I question my diagnosis. Is my blood flow OK? Should I start all over with new doctors? Should I just live as well as I can and forget about doing anything about it? If I do that, though, it feels like I'm just waiting to expire. Is it really the inner ear?
Do I have Brain damage? Is it cervical dizziness? Why is my neck always stiff? Why do my eyes hurt? Should I take this supplement or that supplement? How am I going to support my Wife and 2 kids if I get worse?Why can football players crash into each other every week and not hurt their necks and inner ears and be dizzy like us?
I'm just sick of it. I don't look forward to a new year like this!
Another year with people saying, Do you feel any better? Are you going
to play softball this summer? Would you like to play volleyball this
weekend? And my answers are always NO, NO, NO.
Most of the time, I don't dream dizzy though. I like sleeping. It's an escape from this torture. I force myself out of bed to go to work, because if not my family will be out on the street. I'm sick of seeing other people smile and say, Just hang in there, or Oh, it can't be that bad.
January 2,1997, and I don't care. I think I'm going to start all over again with a new family doctor, see if he has any ideas, and ask for the evoked potentials test, and possibly exploratory surgery. Somewhere in this country there has to be relief. If I don't get better soon, how will I support my family?
These are the questions that run though my mind daily. Does anyone else do this over, and over, and over; wondering what you should do?"
EdW